Laying on the tailgate of my pickup, in the parking lot of the apartment, I gaze into the twilight sky. The gentle breeze is softly blowing low billowy clouds across the sky and four stars are visible with all the city light pollution. I notice the the hue of the clouds is a bright orange. Somewhere there is a gorgeous Texas sunset happening. Somewhere beyond my line of sight mother nature has created in splendor a colorful farewell to today. A hot tear escapes my eye and runs across my cheek, landing in the collar of my t-shirt.
I long to chase the sun again. To feel the waters of the creek rush over my feet and the natural air fill my lungs. I long for a freedom.
So many emotions fill my very being. Anger, betrayal, compassion, depression, concern, and empathy to name a few. I need some time in nature to get my bearings, to find my anchor, to sort out my feelings. I need a moment to step back and look around. Plunged deep in the waters of the unknown, the uncertainty and emotion, I can’t take a breath.
Life has always seemed to change in an instant, has it really? Small changes occurring everyday, the a major shift maybe? Now left to figure out the here and now, keep hope alive and try to keep on living. I don’t know, take it one day at a time, each tiny step and see where it ends up.