Three years coming……

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This week…..

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1 year ago

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three years ago

Austin has been a place of healing, of growing, and of amazing things.  It has been a long three years since Dad passed away and for the first two of those years I didn’t even realize that I had shut myself into my own little world.  I didn’t want to feel anything or anyone.  I left people and things in my life that I know were not healthy or for the best but I just didn’t have the strength or energy to deal with it.  I just didn’t care.

A year has come and gone since the move to Austin I swore I would never open my heart again, that I would never love again and in doing so I would never heal and grow from my grief.  But a tiny little boy reached up and with ease opened my heart.  I began to heal and grow.

Even though things have not been easy, they have been quite hard actually, I began to start living again.  One of the scariest, darkest moments in my life let me begin to live.  Through any and all hard things in my life, I had been proud to say I had never even thought of ending my own life.  One night during the flooding rains, I found myself sitting on the rivers edge in the pick-up and wondering what would stop me from driving off into the raging water.  I sat there for a long time, and as I did, the voices of people that truly love me filled my heart.  Friends and family that I would hurt if I did.  I put the truck in reverse and parked in a safe place.  I cried all the way back to the apartment, actually shaking in fear of what I had thought.

I scolded myself for being so selfish and self-centered for a fleeting moment.  I honestly think I was put on that rivers edge to scare the life back into me.

So, tomorrow, with resume in hand I embark on a new journey.  Three hour interview with a great company, the last one in a line of several.  I don’t often ask for you to keep me in your thoughts and prayers but I do now.  Love and blessings and forever grateful!!

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2 comments on “Three years coming……

  1. How did the interview go?

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