stranger healing

Image

I got a comment on a blog posting the other day, from a stranger.  Usually, the comments I get are from people that I already know and love.  I went to this woman’s blog to see who and what she was about.  She was a middle aged woman that had recently lost her husband.  I began to read first one blog and then another, I laughed, I cried, I embraced every word she had written.  In this age of social media, I think we too often for get to embrace each other.  Not just as face to face but I do not think that we have yet learned to embrace each other cyberly.  We have forgotten how to actually feel each other.

I am not saying that we do not have people in our lives that trust and talk to, but sometimes those people are not the ones that are put into your life to help you.  They are the roots that hold us firmly and give us stability but they are not always the people that are put into our lives to help us with a given situation.  They are the ones that hold us close, help us up and keep us moving, but they are not always the ones with the answers.

As I was drawn into the words this beautiful soul had poured from her heart, I listened as she dealt with little day to day struggles in healing.  As she became aware of the reasons, the ideals, the hopes, the fears, the hurdles of grief, I too was shown some of the little things that were affecting my own life.  As she talked about the struggles of scheduling things to fill her day to day calender, how the structure had changed, how her late husband had been so in tune with her life that he knew and reminded her to take time for herself, I thought of my own day to day.  How often I don’t keep a schedule any more.  How I have seemed to just be floating through the day by day.  How when I had Daddy here, I didn’t plan day to day but kept us on a pretty tight schedule hour by hour.  It was a necessity, it kept my sanity and kept everything done.  It showed me how much I have run from any sort of structure.

In the past, before cyberspace, back in the time of actual conversations there was ministering, there was witnessing, there was connection.  But as time has passed, we have thrown that away, locked our true feelings deep inside for fear of being judged by others, fear of being ridiculed, fear of political correctness, and most of all, fear of being connected with someone else.  Yet, we post pictures, ideas, and dreams on social media.  It seems to be a safe outlet, or is it?  The double edged sword.  It allows us to express ourselves but without the fear of being held accountable.  We can post our lives to people and if they don’t agree or if they begin to judge us, we block them or turn off or even change to a different screen name or another source of media expression.  

Our souls were created to be connected to others.  We long to be connected, to be a part of something greater than ourselves.  

Image

I used to spend a lot of time on social media sites, it was the only connection I had to the outside world it seemed.  I made some incredible friends that were and are as real as people that are in my physical world.  We share, we love, we hope for each other as much as if they were sitting at my kitchen table having a hot cup of coffee.  Sometimes, it is easier to talk to them because you don’t have to look into their eyes.  You don’t have to see dead-on the empathy.  Sometimes you need to see it.  You need to have your feelings, fears, tears, and laughter mirrored back at you in the eyes of someone else.  

Sharing, witnessing, ministering, not only helps you to heal, but it helps heal others too.  I wrote a blog one time to share my experiences in hopes of helping someone else.  I was blasted so badly in the real world that I swore to never share something so personal again.  My knee jerk reaction was to retaliate to the judgement with anger.  I wanted to take the hate letter that I received and respond in kind.  How dare this person judge me in such a harsh manner.  But you see, in their rant and anger, it wasn’t me that was healing.  It was them.  As normal humans, we assume that it is all about us, when in fact, it is rarely about us at all.  So, I keep posting my blogs and I keep sharing my mistakes, my emotions, my day to day, and my heart.  Because for as many as there are that would judge me harshly, there are as many or more who read my words and are helped along the way.  There are those that judge who are touched as much or more and even though they rant and rave, something I have written has touched them too.

I thank the stranger lady for posting on my blog, what an incredible blessing she has become.  Thank you little angel lady for crossing my path and offering healing words even though you didn’t know you were going to.  Thank you for sharing your love, your life, and your heartache so that others may learn from your trials.  Thank you for reminding me that only through sharing and witnessing do we truly help each other.  Blessings to you!!

 

Advertisements

law of attraction done my way

Image

There have been times in my life when I felt I could not take another step, deal with another issue, or even get out of bed in the morning.  I felt lost, hopeless, and dejected as if everything that could go wrong had, did or would at any moment.  I felt as if I had been pushed to the very edge of the highest cliff your imagination can create, standing there with the rocks beginning to crumble and grasping into thin air for something, anything to grab on to.  It is at those very critical moments in life that you reach out with your soul.  Stop complaining about all that has gone wrong and realize that it is those negative thoughts and words that are bringing about the poverty, the depression, the hopelessness and the fear.  It is then that you remember to be thankful for the blessings in your life.  It is time for a change in your heart, your mind, and in your thinking.   It is time to quit asking for miracles and become one.  Is it an easy task?  No, it is incredibly hard to look around and see nothing but the negative but to wake up, get up and grab on to the positive and share it, show it and embrace it.  Stop saying “I hope” and start saying “I know”.

Image

As I have begun to take steps towards the future, I have to admit that some of those steps are a bit shaky.  I have always been confident in my choices.  Hell bent, head down, full steam ahead were all very familiar to me.  Those decisions were not always the best but there were where I was supposed to be.  They were all based on being responsible.  Responsible to everyone around me.  This one has taken me awhile.  The knowing that this is not where I need to be any more was easy.  The specifics of when and where were the issue.  I had become bogged down.  Actually, I had fallen flat on my face, wallowed around in it, and cried myself to sleep more than once.  I had allowed people to influence and come into my life that were not what I needed or wanted.  I allowed it because I was too weak, too tired to fight.  Luckily, I do have strong and loving people in my life to patiently poke, prod and encourage me.  To help me get up, look around and say see…it isn’t all that bad.  I still have no clue where this adventure is really going to lead me, but I am okay with that.  I know that everything I need, everything I want and everything I do will pay off the right way.

When my Daddy died two years ago, it was the end of a very long journey.  A journey of 40 years.  A journey that was not easy or wrought with all bad or all good.  It was life.  But at that point, I had long ago put away my dreams and desires.  I had toyed with them but never allowed myself to seek them out wholeheartedly.  It had been so long since I allowed myself to dream that I did not know how or remember who I was.  I knew in my heart that it was time to sit still and listen.  My health, like other times through loss, made sure of my stillness.  My friends, patiently waited, checking on me and waiting for me to work through it.  There were people that pressed and pushed but slowly I learned that it was not for me they did so but for their own selfish reasons.  Now it is time to walk away from the ones that don’t belong and embrace those that do.  Time to search out those dreams that I put away so very long ago, time to seek my own destiny and let the fears of the unknown fall by the side of the path.

Image

 

So, with lots of work and lots of ambition, by the end of July my new residence will be….. AUSTIN area.  New pics, new places to explore and new pathway in my life.  I am excited and scared all at the same time…It sure feels good to be alive again.