Sleep always makes for a better attitude. It is strange, I get hit in the knees and some days I just want to fall to the ground like a small child and lay there and cry. To let that childish anger escape for a bit. But instead I am more like a bull that you just waved a red rag in front of…I get angry then comes a new plan of attack. When I went to bed earlier this evening, I was angry with myself. I was frustrated that I know I can do better but with so much else going on in life focus is the hardest part.
So, I mark it up as a learning experience. I set my feet in that defensive position….wide base ready to move in either direction….put my head back in the game and get ready to rebound. Yeah, I learned alot about life playing basketball. I was always pretty good at defense. So, after some sleep and a good cup of coffee I start fresh.
I have 4 finals next week, three papers to turn in, 3 chapters to read in journalism, 1 chapter to study for computer, government notes to go over, and a geology study guide to get filled out. I have two tests on Monday…geology from 1030-1230, government from 330-530 and Wednesday….computer 8-10, journalism from 1030-1230. That 8 am class is going to be the zinger. I have to leave the house about 530 and dodge Bambi. But after the 8th this semester will be in the bag. Sell back my books….some of which I never want to see again! lmao.
So I awoke got on my knees gave to God that which was bothering me and asked him to guide me through to the end of the semester. As I sat there in meditation, I knew that he had heard my prayers for it all seems to have fallen into place. Sometimes I really wish he would find a different answer….baby steps. Take the big picture and cut it into smaller pieces. One thing at a time. One test at a time, one problem at a time. My mother in laws favorite thing to tell me was ” Patience is a virtue.” Well, since I wasn’t very good at learning from my elders, now I get to learn it the hard way. Mom always said that she knew from the time I was about 2 that I was going to have to learn things my own way….usually the hard way. But I do generally get there in the end! 🙂
I don’t look at things as set backs, I tend to look at them as learning experiences. This semester has sure been that. I have learned that to do something right you have to regroup and refocus. To put as much of your energy into what matters. Daddy has always taught me that, he has been a trouper at letting me have the time I need to focus. I wish everyone in this house was that way. So, it is time to implement a new strategy to ensure it. A little side stepping and tweeking and it is all gonna get better.
There are some things that need to be added to my daily life again. 1) back to walking 2) back to photography 3) work study 4) study time away from this house. I have set my schedule up for next semester to put these things into play and not spend any more time away from the house than I have this semester. Still on a MWF schedule, but classes at better times. Walking done in the mornings, maybe do some swimming at the ASU pool too. Adding digital photography to my schedule so will have to be doing pic taking. Picking up work study in between classes and study time then too.
I knew with the morning would come a better day. It always does. You just have to think it through and know that any and all plans are subject to some those Confucius moments. You know….anything that can go wrong…will! But instead of dwelling on the bad, look up and get up and plow ahead. Keep good friends in your world and a good book on your bedside.